Mike O'Kane

Well I’m finally revisiting my neglected old Web site after a long absence. The past five years have been both rich and challenging, a time of losses and major life changes. Most recently, at the end of 2019 I moved to the Isle of Bute, and within a month of arrival my right femur broke and the cause was diagnosed to be Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, a form of blood cancer. My leg was operated on and a rod inserted to reconnect knee with hip, and I embarked on a treatment of chemotherapy that completed in May. In July my oncologist informed me that I was in remission and cancer free, at least for now. My 2020 thus far has consisted of a month in hospital, 6 months staying with my dear compassionate friend Jenny in Falkirk, and now a month back home on Bute, still on two crutches as I work to regain my mobility. So a time of pain and trauma, grief, hope, love, frustration, fear, self-isolation (shielding from Covid-19), and a very real encounter with my own mortality and vulnerability. As many others say in similar circumstances, I find myself deeply grateful for this experience and for all I have learned, for the changes these events have wrought in me, for the love and support of friends. Among other things I have learned to ask for help, to let go of my attempts to control .. anything, to appreciate so much: each moment, the day-to-day of simple living, connecting with others, and this beautiful fragile world of which we are so very fortunate to partake. So much to say, and feel, so little time..

So now I am in a process of re-connection and slowly building some courage to emerge from the shell that has sustained me going through chemo and lockdown. My Web site gives me a medium for expression, to rethink and articulate who and where I am in a visible manner so .. onwards and .. onwards!